Coming Home.

It's been a long time since I've been here. Sometimes I miss it. Right now I honestly do. Sometimes I get carried away, and think that I want to be with others, and then when I do, something happens, and I realize that it's better to be the hermit that I am. I've been that way for a reason. I don't know how many times I have to hit myself against the same wall before I finally learn. So I've come home. Even if it is for a short while with all the changes coming. God only knows where the wind will take me, but this is for sure, I'll be in charge of where it goes.

To those that brought the drama against me, thank you. You've waken me up. I'm going to plurge my life. Start a new. Go back to the person I am, the one that I like, the one that I'm comfortable with. And to those that try to hate on that, I don't give a crap anymore. I cared too much, I got close to too many of you, and forgot that in the internet, the soul factor is lost. It's like being back in High School, a social climb after another, step over the other to look better, and don't care about the damage. I never did well in High School, it's always taken something major for me to walk away from those that I care about. This is it. No going back. Too many attempts, and it always ends the same. I'm very sorry it has to be that way. I guess from now on I'm coming to sl to do the few things that I love. Creating, photography, and shopping. 

To put the rumors to rest. I barely get blogger packs. The people that I "blog" for, they know my situation, they know sometimes it gets tough for me to do things. I've never done blogging for the free things. I've done it because I love taking pictures. I love sharing. I love opening pieces of myself I'm not comfortable sharing in the real world. I do blogging because I love it. I miss it when I'm designing. But I guess bills have to be paid. And as a designer, I'll be fully transparent with this. Why don't we send out blogger samples to groups? For quality control, for one. There are events with more than 3 times the amount of bloggers. I share with those whose work I enjoy, and let others shop. Nothing personal, but I have to make a living myself. Secondly, because we already have a blogger group, and we need to make a living. Sure, it sounds rough, and crude, but it's the truth. I don't go around asking for free stuff, I spend way too much money in SL, and out of the very few things that I do get for free, I'm very thankful, and try to showcase them at least in a plurk to give some sort of notoriety. I feel guilty receiving free stuff, and even with friends, if I want something they've made, I buy it. The rumors of me making that stupid plurk are ridiculous. That's all I have to say about it. I've shown proof it wasn't me. Now I'm saying my peace about it. I hope the topic dies, it's been very hurtful. I have fallen jaded towards a lot of my friends. I honestly can't deal with them at the moment, the thought that they would help the rumor grow, instead of ask me about it, help me figure it out, and whisper behind my back is heart breaking. The fact that they believed it so blindly, and wrongly, just breaks me. I still cry about that, I"m not going to lie. It's been a rough couple days, I've even lost my desire to work. So I hope that's the end of this. 

In hopes of you that don't know me too well, to know me a bit better, and hopefully stop something like this to spread in the future, I've decided to do Berry's meme. So let's give it a try. And guys.. I'm not a terrible person. I have my moments, my flares of anger, my moments of annoyance. I'm human. But please, in the future, isntead of sitting there gossiping about me. Come to me. Ask me, let's save the heart ache. And if it happens to someone else, I hope this is a learning experience of how to handle it. I know for me it is. Not that I would ever accuse a friend that I know wouldn't do it, much less without asking. You defend friends, not back stab them. 

When and how did you discover Second Life? – 2006. Old boyfriend who fell for my best sl friend. GO FIGURE! 

Did you know about virtual worlds before or was this your first experience with them? – I didn't. I used to roleplay in boards, but it was fun to change over to SL where it was more interactive. 

Has Second Life met your expectations? – I didn't have any, so I suppose it has?

If you could teleport back to the first ten minutes of your avatar’s slife, what would you tell yourself? – DO NOT PUT YOUR CREDIT CARD IN, YOU CRAZY COLLEGE STUDENT YOU. 

How long did it take you to master avatar flying and driving vehicles inworld? – I got flying down fast. I used to only get around flying. Drivng.. idk.. it took a while since I didn't do it when I first got into sl, when I was given a vehicle, I already knew how to move around sl. 

Do you have a mystery alt? – I wish I did! But no. I'm too open, and the few times I've tried it, I say it's me. 

Is your SL avatar a reflection of you, or someone you wished you could be? – Fully me, the emotions are real, the behavior is me, it's all of me. I guess that's why I fall so hard with my friends, and get hurt so easily . 

Is there an individual you met in SL that inspired you in your RL? How? So many! I just can't think of any off the top of my head, but many. 

Do you feel it is easier to create stronger bonds/relationships with people you meet inworld as opposed to the real world? – It's about the same I suppose. 

Did you ever imagine or believe people could fall in love with someone they never met before Second Life? – I didn't, but I have. 

How has your perspective of dating changed (or not) since you started playing second life? –Nope. 

How has your perspective of employment changed (or not) since you started playing second life? – Yes, I never thought I'd have to work out of sl, and actually make enough to do alright in my real life and pay for my medical needs. It's awesome. 

Name three things in both your lives that overlap each other significantly. – work, feelings, growth. 

If you could live your life more immersively in a virtual world, would you? (Kind of like the Matrix) – Oh gosh no. 

How do you think behavior changes for people if they’re inworld vs in real world? Why do you think that is? – People are rude online because they don't have to deal with the consequences of their actions. Much harder to be rude when you can see the effect it has on someone. 

How has second life consumerism changed your perception of spending habits, the value of money, the need to be “bleeding edge” with fashion?– I'm a shopaholic and do terrible with money. Then, now and always. But it did give me a fashion sense. 

Do you think virtual worlds like SL drive and redefine human interaction or do they narrow and limit it? – I think they broaden it and help people with fears like me, though sometimes that's a double edged sword. 

If technology progressed tomorrow to allow you to send emotions to people the way you’d send text or voice messages, would it enrich your SL experience or infringe on it? – It would be awesome. Maybe less people would be rude, and people would start behaving like humans online. 

Name three skills you attribute to having learned or honed in second lifealone. – 3d creation, photoshop, and fashion sense. 

If your grand kids googled your Second Life Avatar’s name, would they be intrigued, disgusted, proud or something else? – I hope they would be proud of the things that I've managed to accomplish despite my handicaps. 

So that's about it, I hope you guys enjoy it, happy arcade, and, let's go to the credits:

Skin: -Glam Affair- Liv skin- Asia for the Arcade 

Hair: Clawtooth: Boardwalk Breeze - Red eye flight for the Arcade

Eye make up: [KOOQLA] Z-eyeliners (Black)

Lipstick: [KOOQLA] Domino Lips 02

Uniform: .the sugar garden. Academy Uniform - Black Cardigan

Glasses: Intrigue Co. - Twitterpated Shades: Red for Collabor88

Cellphone: .the sugar garden. Keitai Smart Phone Sweets Decoden RARE for Arcade

Socks: .Atomic. Scout Stockings - Pluto 

Shoes: Schadenfreude Slink GooGooMuck Heel for Collabor88

Cat pet:  *MishMish* Traveler Kitty - RARE for Arcade 

Pose: Del May- Minimal Effort. 

Home Decor:

Trompe Loeil - Aeronaut Chair Fawn & Natural- 3 LI for The Men's Dept.

Rug-O-Rama Gacha "joystick" Rare - even.flow - 2 LI

Apple Fall Interior Plant - 1 LI

*MishMish* Kitty in Paris - 1 LI for the Arcade

Trompe Loeil - Vintage End Table Black - 2 LI for the Arcade

The Loft - Bacall Accesory Tray -1 LI

The Loft - Bacall Bowl of Roses Red- 3 LI

Apple Fall Bow Tie Art- 1 LI

Trompe Loeil - Aeronaut Chair Plum & Fawn - 3 LI

*Fishy Strawberry* Barcelona Bag Black (hand)

Color.Me.H.O.F Mesh [Duffel Bag[Vintage]

Dutchie Philodendron tall - 2 LI

The Loft - Manhattan Picture - 1 LI

The Loft - Vogue 1930 picture - 1 LI

The Loft - New York picture - 1 LI

Lark - Inara Lamp (Earth) 2 LI

Lark - Inara Lamp (Sky) 2 LI

Lark - Inara Lamp (Sea)2 LI